Let’s start with the basics, name, age, location.
Kids call me ert, or rob, or rob or ert, I don’t know. 20 years 2 months aaaaaaand 16 days, and I’m from the greatest location on this fine planet, New Jersey. I go to school in Maryland, its not as cool.
Dirty jerz!!!!Don’t knock the dirty! Baltimore smells way worse
Hahaha That’s what I hear, are there mad guidos in New Jersey or is that just on the coast?Pretty much just on the coast, but not on LBI, it’s really just like central and north shores there are guidos.
Scum of the planet. I would go down there on spring break just to people watch.Do it I dare you. There are some funny ass people here, not funny like “haha” funny, funny like “holy shit, are there actually people like that that take themselves seriously?” funny. Wait, can I swear in this? or will we just edit it out? or can I get extra vulgar?
I don’t see why you can’t swear, fuck it.That’s what I like to hear, the real me is unnecessarily vulgar, lets capture that.
That’s the name of the game here. So do you still skate?All the time. I’d like to give a big fuck you to all the lesser members who think none of the gurus skate, I skate all the fucking time.
I’ll back you up on that one.I just perfected cab flips both ways on flat, so they can suck my ass
mmmmm I love cab flips, one of my favorite tricks to do, sooo smooth if you get a nice high pop on ’emI just love to revert the last 90 of them, either way
What game? Skating?
Yes sir.I got my first board on June 19th, 2003, which was a zero white cross 7.625, with some blue and yellow tensors, spitfires, and shortys quickies
I remember seeing that board when it first came out.Yeah that board was sick, I had such a permanent hard on for all things Jamie Thomas. I kind of still do, but now it’s more for Chris Cole, dude’s so friendly/talented.
Any other things you like to do outside of skateboarding?Yeah, not really. I play a little guitar, I’m pretty damn good at drawing, although I don’t like it that much, and I like food…
Well who doesn’t? I love food too. I know you are a chef of sorts, what’s the tastiest creation you ever made?Shiiitttttttttt, I don’t even know, I feel like it’s all categorized between food. I don’t know if I could name one as tastiest. I know I had a bunch of retardedly awesome sandwiches like last year, but I think the one thing I just threw together that I really like was squeezed lime, green pepper, onion, and chicken with some adobo spices put over pasta. That ruled, and I made it up, so I felt extra cool
OMFG that sounds like some straight gourmet shit I love pasta.Haha dude, its so delicious, and its so easy. It’s a pretty subtle taste, but its good. You could always just load up on spices I guess, it would make it a lot more flavorful.
I drown my burgers in spices whenever I’m grillin. That and beer. Beer burgers are legit.Wait, that’s like 2 of my favorite things combined.
Sooo tasty. I just take a thawed piece of meat, stab it with a fork, put some spice on there and pour the beer over it and let it soak for a little while. Very tasty.That sounds awesome, I’m gonna do the fuck out of that some time soon. Now I need to buy my own food, but chicken costs so damn much
Yeah that’s the truth. I get lucky though, my dad splits a cow with my uncle every year so there is always a ton of meat around.Oh man, I would beat in infant mercilessly for half a cow
It’s super nice. We had a brain hanging out in the freezer for a while, I almost contemplated trying to cook it, but mad cow disease is not very fun from what I hear.Haha yo fuck brains, I’m not about to eat any brains from anyone. You should have cooked it up for some girl on a date. Specifically a vegetarian.
My girlfriend is a vegetarian. Well, was, but I turned her on to the winning team.That’s what I like to hear
Speaking of, any lucky ladies in your life?Hahaha nooooooo. I’m the worst with ladies. I’ve got my eye on a few, one of whom is a vegetarian, ironically. She’s the number one, but no dice so far. There’s actually this out of her mind crazy insane as hell girl who wont leave me alone that’s madly in love with me, but she sucks, fuck her.
Bahahaha, the bat shit crazy broads are the worst. I’ve had a few of those in my day.They really are, I feel cool cause a girl actually likes me for a change, but its still the worst.
How was your summer?Pretty boring, skated a lot, and worked at the local liquor store. I wish I could say I was super exciting, but my life’s pretty average. I love it though, I hate change. I like where I’m at right now.
Yeah I feel you on that. I live right in the suburbs, and shit I could move 20 minutes east and be down in the city, or 20 minutes west and be in the middle of nowhere living on a farm.That’s the best, I kinda like that. I want to be able to come to a busy place, see people, but I also fucking hate people more than anything, so if I could live in isolation in northern Canada for a month with 2 cases of nice beer, a lady friend, a dog, and some books, I would be stoked
That sounds fucking sweet. I agree, people in Saint Louis aren’t really the nicest. If you randomly walk up to someone down in the city and try to strike up a conversation they all get weirded out. I’ve been up north to Minnesota and its basically the completely opposite.I luh dat shit. I just watched Forrest Gump Thursday night, and right in the beginning he starts talking to the strangers. I was like “that fucking rules, Forrest Gump is a bawse”. Nobody talks to strangers anymore, no ones friendly, people suck ass.
I absolutely agree. People are dicks. How about some cliché interview questions? Top three favorite tricks.Shiiitttt, I’ve been doing 3 flips since 8th grade, I’m a college sophomore now, so definitely that. I don’t wanna brag, but I could do those every try, any way, eyes closed, whatever, I could do those for days. Then cab flips the hard way, they’re real fun, and I guess fs biggies?
Sexy trick right there. I personally like most fs anythings.I just learned those a few months ago, they feel really fun to land
Top 3 beers?I love dogfish head a lot, but that’s a whole brewery. Rogue has a really delicious chocolate stout, I’ll throw that in somewhere. Wells has this banana bread beer that tastes just like banana bread, but it doesn’t taste gay. It tastes like beer… and banana bread… together, in one heterosexual concoction
I feel like those microbreweries and small time companies have the best tasting beer.Yeah, no doubt. I wanna say the dogfish head world wide stout for my last, that thing is intense. 18% alcohol, you can age it for like 10 years.
A 36 proof beer sounds like something I wanna drink.Yeah, 8 bucks a bottle, well worth it if you like stouts. I bought 4 of them, one to drink after each year of college, its pretty sweet, I get to see how they age.
That’s really awesome. I guess working at a liquor store makes you quite the enthusiast by default, that’s rad.Yeah, if you show interest then it’s pretty easy. Like half my co-workers were just complete shit heads that drink Popov or Yukon jack or whatever, just drinking to get shitty.
Yeah that’s my game. I mostly drink to get wasted. But that’s mostly because I’m not 21 yet. Once October rolls around I’m definitely going to be drinking more leisurely. There is nothing more rewarding after a long day than a cold brew.Do it. Get a job, and buy like a nice 6 pack or 2 every week. I’ll drink like 1 or 2 beers every night if I’ve got some random classy beer lying around
That’s the shit right there.Plus, you’re right in the middle of east and west, so you’ll probably get the best of both coasts in regards to microbrews. You ARE in the middle, riiiiiiiigggghhhhtttt?
Right outside of Saint Louis, can’t get a whole lot closer to right in the middle. We got a microbrewery called trailhead literally five minutes from my house, they have some pretty good seasonal brews.Seasonals rule. You get your hands on some imperial pumpkin ales right this very minute. Oktoberfests suck copious amounts of phallus though
Yeah they got a pumpkin ale that comes out pretty soon here. I gotta be honest though I’m a fan of Sam Adams Oktoberfest.I’ve heard that’s a good one, all the other ones I’ve had I really was not impressed with though, but I trust Sam Adams. Their cherry wheat was the first microbrew I ever had, I was blown away. It was the first I remember anyway
Yeah they have some solid beers that you can pick up at grocery stores, its nice. Three favorite sb-c members, besides me.Haha fuuuuuuck. Hold on, lemme go check. chump champ is cool as hell, I like him. No homo
Of course not.I don’t even know, I can’t pick people out from the guru forum
All the gurus are cool in my book.Kings pretty cool too.
King’s the man.And Unknown Soldier. Final answer.
I always used to get you and the unknown solider mixed up. I felt like you guys both had names that kind of are military type shit, but I cut that out a while ago.Yeah, I think you wrote some shit on my profile about having a beard at one point. Although I always do that with dr. pepper and purple skater.
Three favorite shoes? I know you love your big gulps.Loooooove the gulps. I had a huge boner for all white leather skytops back in the day. I liked skytops right when they came out and everyone made fun of them, but I finally bought a pair of those 2 weeks ago, love em. And I guess fallen fortes/mids? Those skate so good, and they’re pretty classy looking.
I don’t even know, I just see all these random girls walking around at school that are so attractive, and I wish I could just pause everything for a minute, and violate the fuck out of them. And by minute I mean like 4 hours.
Like that one fucking nickelodeon movie clock stoppers, that’s the first thing I would do if I could do that.Hahaha that’s the only thing I would do if I could. Or maybe skate a lot, then turn time back on and land shit first try and my friends would think I’m actually talented or something
That would be sick. Getting to skate spots that are beautiful but always have mad security. What kind of music are you in to?I don’t know, I listen to everything. I guess I mostly listen to metalish stuff, but not that crazy terrible noise with no melody. And I like hip-hop, but not this dog shit people listen to. I like big L, binary star, mf doom, that kinda stuff.
I’ve gotten pretty big into hip-hop lately. I went up to soundset up in Minnesota over the summer, a ton of good hip hop up there its rad.I have no idea what that is. I don’t really pay any attention to music festivals, or shows or anything.
Yeah it’s basically an all day outdoor hip-hop festival. Atmosphere and method man and redman headlined, it was ill.Sounds hot. I don’t really listen to any of them. Maybe its just cause I’m totally rebellious and don’t listen to music other people do. Or maybe cause I just never really listened to them
Yeah I’m kinda that way too. I feel like it doesn’t get as old as something you hear on the radio all the time. If you could tell sb-c one thing, what would it be?To stop thinking the gurus spend large amounts of time conspiring evil plans
That’s the truth. I don’t remember who it was but he was hell bent in thinking that gurus could change signatures of other members and stuff like that. It’s pretty crazy. I know we got quite a few members with our prank this year. IT CAME.Hahah that was bitintinelli or whatever
Probably, what a bozo.But we certainly did come. And we spent [sarcasm]soooooooooo much time on that[/sarcasm], instead of just randomly checking in and adding in our 2 cents.
As lame as it sounds, that’s completely true.Yeah, I probably put in a good amount of time, but no more time than I would have posting random shit, I was actually building towards something for a change
Yeah I thought it was pretty brilliant. Any final thoughts? Shoutouts?I don’t even know, I should have thought up something really awesome to say here, a heart wrenching monologue or something. I guess I kinda already shouted out, so ill just leave this off with one of my favorite quotes?
Solid.“Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us”. Boom, headshot
That’s ill! On that note, have a good night friend, drink one of those fancy beers for me.I would if I could, but you too sir, you too.
