Dear Street League: Fuck Off

Okay, so I just got my wisdom teeth taken out Tuesday and these past couple of days I have been eating only soup, jell-o, ice cream and I have not left my house, not even for a walk. Which means right now I got some anger inside me, and seeing how I have nothing to do right now I just took a sip of my Haterade and I’m ready to bash on the Street League.
skateboard city

Well, let’s start with the fact that this is an attempt to tame skateboarding and make it more corporate (hate to use this word in this case) friendly. They are making this event in an arena with everyone in a single seat like basketball or baseball. What the fuck? skateboard city Skateboarding is raw, people should be able to stand right there at the bottom or beside the stairs, being able to pat their favorite skaters back after a landed trick knowing that at the same time they can be hit in the shin with a board that comes flying out after someone slipped out of the trick. If you don’t like this you can go back to the basketball arena and watch your favorite team safely from the seats.

Second, what is up with this? “Street League Skateboarding™ utilizes real-time scoring and a proprietary format that makes every trick count. These unique features, combined with street skateboarding from the world’s best, will make the inaugural year of Street League Skateboarding™ a historical break-through for skateboard fans worldwide.” This has to be the silliest shit ever. This means that skater A that just pulled a mind-blowing trick down the set that took 10 tries, will not win because skater B just pulled 7 easy tricks down the set. Next thing you know you will be hearing “and now… with a .456 kickflip average… Nick Dompierre.” I believe contest should be done in a best trick format, whoever lands the hardest shit over a certain period of time, wins. Simple as that.

Finally, there are two things that really bother me the most. The first is that they claim that they have the world’s best skateboarders, and we all know skateboarding is like an art, different people appreciate different kinds etc. I’ve already been through this on a previous post. What seriously pisses me off the most is the fact that they have a FUCKING FANTASY LEAGUE!!!! ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!?!?! skateboard city Skateboarding can not be measured in points, especially not fantasy points.

Anyways, I am glad we have people like the guys at Thrasher that keep making contests like Bust or Bail, Slaughter at the Opera, and Double Cash Stack Attack which any person can enter and get to make a name for themselves if they killed it. These kind of contests give you the street cred and respect from skateboarders not some stupid corporate contest.

I’ll leave you guys with some videos of contests done properly with great atmosphere and great vibes, and you’ll see that they are a thousand times gnarlier than P-Rod doing tricks down the small five at the the plaza, and are a thousand times gnarlier.

Everytime I hear Phelps say “Yeah” in this vid I smile.

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