Oh, how I’ve seen so many people ask about these decks. Are they any good? Is the warranty real? Will it hold up for a month? Does it have good pop?
Oh kids, you don’t know what you’re getting yourselves into. Buying this board is like buying a wooden piece of eternal hell. It won’t break, I’ll give it that. Even that turns into a downside in the end, because no one wants to buy a new board when they have an unbroken one. But this time it’s a very well thought out idea. Buying this board is like buying a cheap used car. It works out good in the beginning, but will quickly turn into a giant nuisance that you just can’t get rid of without doing it purposefully.
Pop:
Hahahahahahahaha. Pop? On an armorlight? NO!
Actually, for the first week, it has crazy pop. It then completely pulls a houdini and disappears. I know that this will sound a little bit crazy and you’ll think it can’t be THAT bad, but it feels like your skating a filed down 2X4.
The board develops something like a waterlogged feeling after a week, which sucks too. It’s a very distinct feeling. Here, I’ll try to replicate the experience of popping a week old armorlight. Okay, give yourself a boner, pull it down, bend your head down and try to fling your penis into your skull. It’s bizarre feeling and extremely difficult.
Durability:
Well, I guess if you want a durable deck, uh, get it? I mean, the carbon-fiber does hold up to what they say. It does make the board stronger, but that’s as far as it goes. It still gets tons of pressure cracks (145 lbs.) and chips like a motherfucker. I swear to god, a foot high fall nose first will break off half of your nose. The only plus sides that I can find of this board is that it’s durable and the graphic stays for awhile.
Shape:
You know, I actually think the guys at Darkstar designed this board to just be attractive in store. I mean, when you first see it, it’s got perfect concave, a little steep, but oh, we take care of that, and has a nice even nose and tail. I swear, the first day you skate it, the concave COMPLETELY flattens out. It went from a semi steep concave to a completely, 180 degree flat concave a month later. The tail and nose at that point had mal formed into oblivion. It was then that I realized why Armorlights don’t break. The carbon fiber layer is nearly indestructible. The wood all around it would break away and crack easily, but the carbon fiber would stay perfectly intact. So,basically, your skating a thin sheet of incredibly durable material wrapped in shitty wood.
Weight:
I swear, it actually gains weight over time. It starts out a medium light and in a simple matter of two weeks, it’ll feel like it’s gained a pound. And it feels waterlogged. It’s just so odd. My board was never near water the entire time I had it, so don’t ask if I dropped it in a pool or something. Maybe the Darkstar guys put micro water bottles in side the layers to fuck with us. Shit.
So, all in all, just don’t buy an Armorlight. If I had a rating for gimmick value, though, it’d be great. But this board is shit. I’d love to show a list of the models, but simply looking at the boards would make me want to gouge my eyes out and eat my penis.
So if you are considering buying in armorlight and have read this review, here’s what I want you to do. Take a frying pan, put it on the stove at high heat for 5 minutes, pick it up and repeatedly beat your face in with it. It’ll save you alot of suffering.
